Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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