I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I think I just shit out all my problems.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize