Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
