You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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