Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
