dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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