how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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