ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
