what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
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