You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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