She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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