So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
