forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
