Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
