He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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