He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
