Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
