i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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