I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
