he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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