sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
