First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize