I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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