Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
