I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
