he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
But break dance skills will only take you so far
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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