Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
