i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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