Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Randomize
