Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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