Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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