I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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