i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
