I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize