bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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