I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
