you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
