i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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