i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
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