You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
