Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize