so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Randomize
