whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I need a beard to bite.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize