North Korea, Best Korea!
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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