well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Reggie can tackle my bush.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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