what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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