4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
