i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
