your parents love me but you hate me
Kiss
Puke
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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