im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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