Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
