And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Randomize
