if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
