i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
