Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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