And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
