the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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