it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
