I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
