No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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