Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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