so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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