Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
