I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Randomize