I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
