Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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