He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
