My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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